Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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