who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she looked like the before picture.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
