I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
yes thatโs a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. Iโve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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