If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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