sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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