I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize