And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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