she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
