It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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