I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
