sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize