Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
