the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize