but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
