yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize