I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
