chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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