Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
