i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
