My friends, they love my intelligence
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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