So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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