take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
