i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Couch. On fire.
Randomize