It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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