it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
