cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
