If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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