She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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