Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
