Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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