Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
