I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
