I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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