So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm bleeding and have questions
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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