can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
