yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize