Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
