plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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