2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize