I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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