We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
