In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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