I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
