So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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