I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
