he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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