So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
