So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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