Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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