he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize