Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize