return my video game
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
