she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
