where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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