its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize