Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
