If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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