we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
