that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
