when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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