listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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