oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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