I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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