He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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