It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Randomize
