I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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