nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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