butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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