A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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