I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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