You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We left the knife in your bed.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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