I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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