I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
