It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
