There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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