Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
